I love yous and Forevers

Sometimes I wonder how life would've been if I hadn't gotten to meet Adrian, and those 5 seconds I let that thought run by, because I can't stand much more, I realize I might not've had as much of a life. Now hear me out. Before him I was more....quiet, didn't express myself as much. Yes I had friends I'm not saying I didnt have friends back then, but I was still reserved. Now here comes a person I want to share everything with, someone who I can't help but want to show the world. Who whenever I see something new or just anything in general happens I want to run to to tell.....

Tonight I promised him I'd stay with him forever, and I damned well intend on keeping that promise.

Hibiscus

Yesterday was such a full day I didn't even ahve time to post. I went to Dylan's house with 2 huge bags of chips as if we were going to throw a party. Dylan (awkwardly...well for me atleast T_T) reintroduced me to his parents. We played around in his room (no no not like that ='b) and then Tash came. I told her to surprise me with whatever she'd want to bring to Dylan's house, thinking that it was only food I was surprised when she gave me a plant. It was a hibiscus plant, and now that I googled it I can't wait for it to grow! Then we watched a movie. Whoever is reading this, you MUST watch the movie The Curious State of Benjamin Buttons, I cried...yes cried that's how good the movie was, you know tears coming down? Like that. If that isn't enough to convince you, you get to watch someone get hit by lightning atleast 4 times (out of the 7 he claimed to be, Tash and Dylan are probably laughing right now remembering XD). After we laid on the floor we went to Dylan's room and laid back listening to Tash playing random soothing tunes on his keyboard.....

I can't say everything that went on yesterday, only that I felt free, which is weird..for now I can only say its great having best friends, and I can't believe I left them for awhile...

Feels like Days instead of Hours

I woke up in the morning with no energy, nothing to fuel me except for how tomorrow Adrian's going to Buffalo to get a scholarship for a college 7 hours away. So I wanted to see him before he left. I should start from the beginning of things and get to now.

First period, a breeze, second, then third. Lunch. I honestly dont know what I'm going to do about Elio. Okay sure I got mad at Adrian over something stupid, and that happens a lot. Later I realize that what I've done is stupid and make it up to him because I love him. But no, Elio whos sitting there absorbes everything, and although he distinctly pushed the rest of us away from his personal life due to his "new life" (and for the record, I dont have anything against his girlfriend, I actually think now that I judged too harshly, yes I admit it) he decides to get into my business and tell everyone. He told Jacks, Miguel, and neighbor (a freshmen we became friends with who lives in the sam building as me) EVERYTHING. I do stupid things but thats between me and Adrian not EVERYONE to know....Elio changed, he doesn't talk to anyone anymore, only Miguel on certain occasions and even he notes a change. Right now he's not focusing on anyone but his girlfriend. Not only that he doesnt do his homework, he finds it funny now that he keeps getting 68s in class. I know that sounds like whoa so you have to be a smarty pants but he used to actually care about stuff before.....*shrugs* only reason I mentioned this is cuz he ticked me off today, moving on.

The literary magazine is coming out....okay, Jacks got control and Miguel knows it. Dylan still needs Miguel by his side (I'm not gonna give opinions anymore T_T I feel like I cant get this setting up thing right, I'm sticking to art). Adrian and Elio both did their parts in the quotes and random facts section so thats going pretty good. I'm not sure though how its all gonna fit. When Tash was the editor things went more smoothly there really wasnt much competition (although she did get mad at me once just for talking T_T. You did Tash you did.)

Adrian...I have complete bittersweet feelings about all of this. I talked to ma today and told her. I said that I was so happy because he's worked hard for this, through it all he's gotten great grades in everything (psych doesnt count Adrian that subject's hard!)....He's very ambitious you know? Being a Physician's Assistant...its not his passion, but its something he will succeed in, because he has that ability. Then I felt worried, the futures coming fast and that may affect him in some way and it did this past week, I didnt know what to do to help him although he's better now. And last....I'm...sad...I suppose. He's going far away. And even if I get into Wells and he's in Daemen its still 2 hours away. Can you believe the change? We see each other everyday in school and he comes over my house atleast twice a week, that'll be a change. When I told ma I (I'm sorry I try not to didnt even think it was coming, no I'm not a wimp or anything) started crying.....there I said it.

Tomorrow I'm going to Dylan's house with Tash.....sometimes I can't believe I have these two people. They're....Tash waited for me despite the fact I "left" for a while and Dylan's always trying to cheer me up. I'll tell you all about tomorrow's adventerous day....and leave out some parts...hehehe.

Until tomorrow.

Reni <3

"Rebooting"

Today I deleted all my past posts. It's funny how it's so easy to delete everything from the past on the computer but there's no way to push a "reset" or "backspace" button in our lives. My boyfriend Adrian was able to in a way, although he spent 3 days of hurt. I don't think I could ever, things are always scratched too deep, and as most of my friends are aware of I'm an overthinker. So although I can't go back in time, I'm starting over this blog with all seriousness, or so I hope, I could never keep a journal for long.

Beginning with the Middle of Senior year

Current age: 17

Current Dilemma: Trying hard not to make a big deal out of everything and go with the flow.

I've been submerging myself in everyone's lives lately, ironic because in middle school all I did was try to keep away from everyone as much as possible. It's also one reason one of my friends decided to leave, for "worrying too much, because its hurting you" so he pushed me away. For some reason although I dont talk to Elio anymore I cant get over the fact a person would honestly leave me to protect me from themselves -_-. I'm not sure what the reason exactly is that I dive into their lives, though the obvious answer would seem to be that I care, and although I do it seems as if there's more reasons than that.

We've been working on this thing called the literary magazine, also known as "Mango Juice" for the past year....I'm thinking a good name change would help but everyone seems to prefer this one. There are serious issues with the staff though -_-. For one Dylan and Miguel (the first Editor and the latter co-editor) do not seem to agree on much. Jackie (the poetry director) was told by Miguel that she doesnt do much....she's not very happy. Our very own random facts guy Elio leaves work for last minute so theres going to be a problem with that. Adrian.....well he's finding quotes now so everything is fine. And me? I'm in everybody's business so I'm concerned with all of the above.