I'm sitting here typing on my laptop on my kitchen table with the summer reading book I was assigned to read for college (Animal Vegetable Miracle) on my right and my blackberry on top of it listening to the music coming from the radio atop the microwave. My mom and dad are in the living room talking about our July 4th plans to go to playland today, and my sister, Valerie, is reading a book on her bed while my brother stays close by playing on the DS. It's a simple scene, a comfortable scene. I'm wondering how much is going to change. I'm wondering how it'll be when I leave on August 23rd for college. There's so much uncertainty right now as to what's to come. I like being sure about how things are, how things will be that way if anything does come the surprise of it won't leave me confused or hurt. Sometimes I think I protect myself too much from the world that I don't have a chance to live, to really live.
I haven't been talking to my friends as much as I'd like. Then again I can be that kind of person who leaves or stays away for a while trying to separate herself by putting up a wall even on those closest. I'm not sure if Dylan still believes that we're "done" with him, I don't know if Tash will ever rely on me as much as before with my frequent departures...I'm most afraid that Adrian may find a change in me, not a good change during college. What I'm sure of is that I will change, there's no doubt. I'll be able to do things I wasn't able to do before, I might get into trouble. I might be more outspoken or something the like. I hope I don't get too lost, and if I do I hope my high school friends will have the patience to find me again.
